I have always found it
difficult to settle; I have studied many subjects from engineering to
psychology, from computing to photography and have been equally erratic in my
working life. The older I get, the more I realise that settling is not for me.
Interests come and go and as one fades, there is always something more
colourful just around the corner.
When more than one interest
arises at once, things can become quite erratic; intensity, clutter and an
overwhelming sense of not knowing where to look and what to do first can
descend. Studying and working partly from home brings some overlap between
elements as family life is drawn into both, while working at the school my
children attend brings its own issues.
Sontag (2008) suggests that
‘photography reinforces a nominalist view of social reality as consisting of
small units of an apparently infinite number – as the number of photographs
that could be taken of anything is unlimited’. Sontag (2008)
Focusing not on several
photographs of one moment but on several photographs of one person, myself, I
have attempted to show a glimpse of my own personal reality. The five staged
portraits show five of the main elements of me; not intended to be viewed in
any order but more as an anti-narrative with no beginning, end or plot. They
focus on my main activities in this precise moment; any of these elements could
change if I chose a new career, finished my course of study or didn’t have time
to exercise. Granted, I’ll always be a mum but as my children grow up and leave
home, it will become less a part of my daily living.
Although these elements on
the surface signify specific roles, poststructuralist thought could lead to
many meanings being derived. The viewer may read the image as portraying
characteristics; strict, thoughtful, creative, nurturing and fierce, the lens
also hinting at an astute attention to detail. Read in this way, the elements
acquire a more permanent role, as they are ingrained into ones personality,
rather than being dependent on specific life choices.
The inclusion of coloured
powder brings connotations of Hinduism, more specifically the Holi Festival of
Colour. In Hindu art and Christian alike, the higher being is often placed at
the top of the image while Earthly beings remain below. In the images below,
Indra, God of Gods and Christ are looking down upon the mortals on Earth. The
time at which I feel the most at one with myself, the most in touch with a
higher self is out in the fresh air, surrounded by the beautiful colours of
nature; the higher being in my image sprinkles colour on my world. Although I
am not a follower of any religion, this part of the image hints at my Christian
upbringing and love of yoga and meditation. In order to make the ‘higher self’ appear more
ethereal, I have added a white layer behind and reduced the opacity.
My earthly being placed
bottom right is the ‘what I have become’ as a result of living those combined
elements; the sparkly eyes and colourful face being the result of that
sprinkling of colour from the higher self. In this conclusive element, I have
aimed to reflect the colourful, quirky energy described by my friends and family.
The combined elements of
life all work together to make us who we are; the colourful Earthly self is
what I always aim to be, with a little help from the higher being.
Evaluation:
Demonstration of technical and visual skills
This project involved setting up and taking a selection of
self-portraits and combining them into one image in Photoshop. Retrospectively,
I think that this would have been easier if I had used a green screen or plain
backdrop, however at the time of shooting, I thought that some of the
background would be used in the images so shot in my garden. Each image then
had to be cut out and pasted onto my background image. The background image has
been given a slightly more ethereal feeling by reducing the opacity and adding
a white layer behind. This also has the effect of making it appear more softly
focused to aid layering, the colourful image at the front being the most in
focus. Although there are a lot of colours in this image, I feel that the
contrasting blues and pinks are well balanced around the image, giving a
bright, vibrant feeling and echoing the roaring face at the centre.
Quality of outcome
Due to concerns from my tutor that my five elements may be read
from left to right, I have clustered them together more in my revamp, hopefully
allowing the viewer to read this part of the image as a whole. In order to
rebalance the image, I increased the size of the five elements and cropped in
closer. I feel now that the image is easier to read as the higher self behind,
the earthly self in front and the five elements that make up parts of that self
in between.
Demonstration of creativity
There is a lot of me in this image, both literally and
metaphorically. True to my developing style, the image is colourful, natural
and showing some of the active emotion involved in the differing activities
that make up my life. In order to portray the five characters, I used props and
costume and took a moment to get into role before taking each shot.
The sense of clutter and not quite knowing where to look first is
quite relevant to my life, reflecting my tendency to take on too much at a
time. Having shown this image to friends and family, the main comment was that
it is very ‘me’. I am quite sure that this image will not be pleasing to the
eye for some, however this was never my intention.
Context
This assignment has demanded a much
deeper understanding of the meaning behind an image than any of my past
assignments. I have had the opportunity to really think about how the viewer
might read this image as I gained knowledge on semiotics and poststructuralism.
Bibliography
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