I
think this assignment was the hardest photographic project I have ever had to
do. The technical aspects of photographing myself were a slight challenge but I
found most difficulty in trying to decide what I was trying to say. The course
advice was to write a diary for two weeks, and see what came to light as
important factors in my life. I managed to write two non-consecutive days worth
over the space of a month before realising that this wasn’t going to work for
me.
I
know what I do from day to day anyway; I’m a mum of two children, I’m studying
towards a degree in photography and I’ve been lucky enough in the last few
years to work as a self employed photographer too. I have another job in a
secondary school, dealing with the social, behavioural and emotional issues of
teenagers and for fun, I love to be out in the countryside, running, walking,
circuit training or taking photos. I try to be a good daughter, sister, wife
and mother although like most, I get it wrong now and again.
I
love learning, driving, camping, photography and people; I’m a free spirited
control freak, with an affinity for mud, rain, colour and washing.
So,
as if this wasn’t hard enough to whittle down to one single image, I thought
I’d ask for more. I put the following request on Facebook:
‘HELP NEEDED - and you won't even have
to stand up:
I have to do a self-portrait for my
coursework, not just a pretty picture; it has to represent me as a person. I
have a few ideas of my own but would love some input from others who know me.
So, what do you think of when you think
of me? Please leave a word or sentence in the comments or inbox me if you'd
rather. You can be as honest as you like, I'm thick skinned!’
It turns out I didn’t need to be thick skinned as I
have the loveliest, most complimentary bunch of friends ever. Some focused on
the physical, from the colourful hair, frocks and boots to the big cheesy grin.
Others looked more at my interests and personality; it seems I’m a mud-loving loony
(or any of the other seven synonyms) with an enthusiastic zest for life – mad
as a box of frogs was mentioned on more than one occasion, not sure how to take
that one.
Completely overwhelmed by the sizeable response, I
felt the need to make a spreadsheet.
I categorised the responses and started to consider
how each category could be represented. Considering the type of exercise I do, I
knew that either mud or colour would have to play a factor so I went with the
easiest option and ordered a few packets of coloured powder.
On
a walk with my husband, I found a great spot for the initial shoot; a track
running along the banks of the Humber with vibrant berry spotted hedgerows
alongside. We returned the next week, dressed in my most colourful frock with a
few helpers to help with throwing the powder.
I
loved the colourful images with sunlight, dappled through the trees shining on
my face but I felt that alone, they didn’t really say enough about me.
The
idea of showing the different elements of me came to me one morning, as I was
mulling over an awkward situation in which two areas of my life were fighting
against each other. For the next few days, I played with the idea of separating
the elements of me by torn pieces of paper, showing how we can often feel torn
between loyalties and differing commitments. Had I been creating a general
piece of art, I may have followed this route, however I didn’t feel that this
represented me enough to be used in a self-portrait.
After
much thought, I decided that I liked the elements idea and decided to merge it
with my colourful images. The five portraits showing my day-to-day life while
the colour session shows how I escape the madness, the inner me.
