Reflections on myself:
Having agonised over my
self-portrait for months, I finally got it to a point where I felt like I could
submit it. The feedback wasn’t great; in fact after written feedback, vocal
feedback, uploading my feedback to the OCA Facebook group to see if they could
decipher it and mulling over what they said, I still haven’t really got any
idea what it all means.
My tutor understood why I
had used several images and felt that my use of Sontag explained it well. She
felt, however that I could have arranged it in a way that made interpretation
more straightforward. I couldn’t agree more; At one point, I had tried to
combine the images so that important parts of each image made one whole person,
in the style of an image by Philippe Halsman This didn’t work as there were too
many images where similar parts were necessary so it looked very unbalanced and
disjointed.
As I had described my
characters from left to right in writing, my tutor suggested that this is how
they should be viewed, rather than huddled together. I tried to explain that I
only described them from left to right as I had no choice, Western writing
renders us unable to describe things from back to front or on top of each other
but in photography, we do have that choice. It was also suggested that I
increase the figures gradually in size to show transformation from one into the
other. I did not want the characters from right to left, back to front or
smaller to larger as there is no order to them in my life; I am all of those
characters almost every day, none before or after the other and their
importance in my life also varies greatly. For this reason, a left to right
layout would be wrong.
I am pleased with the layout that I chose for my five
characters as they can be read front to back, left to right, from the middle
outwards, or however the viewer chooses. I am also pleased with the layout as
the elements overlap, as they often do in life; this afternoon, I am a student
and a mum, yesterday I went to boot camp and did some photography work, my work
in a school overlaps with being a mum as my children attend the same school, I
sometimes photograph events in the same school, and so on... I think the
inability to read this image reflects massively on my life as a whole; I very
rarely know where to look or what to do first so why would I make it any easier
for the viewer?
My tutor suggests the
narrative sequences of such works as the Bayeux Tapestry; I’m aiming more for
the anti-narrative anti-sequence of such works as Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill and
Reservoir Dogs. I only wish I had Tarantino's style!
Visually, I agree that the
final piece needed some work, the mix of shapes and colours was a lot to look
at. I have increased the size of my five elements, removing the lower half of
the legs and exaggerated the overlap; I wanted to really get away from any
impression that a left to right arrangement was intended. I have kept the two
colourful bodies, front and back, which are now smaller in comparison to the
five elements. I feel that I completely omitted an explanation of these two elements in my original piece so will rectify this in my redo.
The inclusion of coloured
powder brings connotations of Hinduism, more specifically the Holi Festival of
Colour. In Hindu art and Christian alike, the higher being is often placed at
the top of the image while Earthly beings remain below. In the images below, Indra,
God of Gods and Christ are looking down upon the mortals on Earth.
The time at which I feel
the most at one with myself, the most in touch with a higher self is out in the
fresh air, surrounded by the beautiful colours of nature. Yes, my life is busy
and yes, sometimes I don’t know whether I’m coming or going but a good stomp in
the countryside can make all the stresses and strains of daily life fade away.
In order to make the ‘higher self’ appear more ethereal, I have added a white
layer behind and reduced the opacity. My Earthly being, the colourful me at the
front with the sparkly eyes and colourful face is the result of that sprinkling
of colour from the higher self.
Without the combined
elements, of which I have chosen to show five I wouldn’t be who I am today but
the colourful Earthly self is what I always aim to be, with a little help from
the higher being.
